and the Journey rolls on…

Well, my injections are well underway in preparation for the FET (frozen embryo transfer).

I wasn’t able to make the Ash Wednesday service at CHN (Church of the Holy Nativity), my home parish, so Rich and I decided to go to the 2pm Mass at Holy Name CathedralThe Frances Xavier Warde School along with their own Monsignor Dan Mayall, lead the mass.  I felt like I was exactly where I was meant to be.  The gathering hymn was Lord of all Hopefulness.  Singing, I felt like I was brining all of my own hopes and dreams to the altar.

As the Right Reverend Jeffrey D. Lee said in his Ash Wednesday devotion, “This is a day about the pilgrim way we all walk together toward the waters of new life awaiting for us at Easter.  I feel as though at every turn, God is reminding me that new life is awaiting us at Easter.

To make it even more interesting, I was asked just this week, to sing the Exultet (an Easter proclamation) at The Great Vigil of Easter at CHN.  Normally, this would be done by the deacon, but since we do not have one at this time, I’ve been asked and given this great honor.  I can’t think of a better time to meditate on these words and learn this piece.

I leave you with my devotions today, focusing on scripture meaningful to me in times of difficulty.

2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (NIV)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.  If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer.  And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so you also share in our comfort.

Philippians 4:4-7 (NIV)

Rejoice in the Lord always.  I will say it again: Rejoice!  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

A Lenton Journey

fertility-goddess
A Lenten Journey
I had an epiphany yesterday as I received my schedule for our FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer).
Maybe I should back up and start at the beginning…
We got married May 7, 2011 and haven’t prevented conception since then.  In August 2013, we finally decided maybe we should get a full work-up and see if there’s a medical reason we’re not getting pregnant.  After said work-up, things seemed to be ok.  What we were left with is unexplained female infertility.
After four failed IUIs (Intrauterine Insemination), we decided to proceed with IVF (invitro fertilization).  After all, we all only have so many resources, we don’t want to use them all on something that doesn’t appear to be working.  Let me tell you, IVF is pretty intense.  Despite that, we’ve been handling it quite well.  Unfortunately, towards the end of my stimulation process, my hormone levels shot up much too high for a fresh embryo transfer.  Instead, we had to do a “freeze all” and wait for symptoms to subside and my body to calm down to a more normal state.
I am learning patience.
Yesterday though, and even more so this morning, what I feel is love, peace, and God’s presence with me.
Lets get back to that schedule.  As I was plugging all of the different treatments and medications required for this therapy into my calendar (and there are many…that’s the only way to sort it all out), I realized my injections begin March 6th, the day after Ash Wednesday, the start of LENT.  I paused, but continued plugging away until I noticed something else…though the Embryo Transfer will be on April 7th, treatment continues until the pregnancy test on April 18th, Good Friday.
I’ll admit, my first thought was, Oh no…is this a sign of death, gloom, and sadness?  Is this not going to work?
Then I felt an answer in my heart.  It said:  NO.  It is for you to remember I walk with you.  Christ died to give you LIFE.  Yes, LIFE.  God, your father, traveled with his precious son, and he is traveling with you.  He is always there, always aware, but sometimes can’t be seen in the darkness or make his presence known.  Darkness is required so that we may see light and life and look forward to the celebration of Easter.
Coincidence?  I don’t think so.  Two week wait?  Ha, who cares about the two week wait when I’m taking a Lenten journey with my God, with Jesus, that will lead me to Easter.  This is my Lent.