A Lenten Journey
I had an epiphany yesterday as I received my schedule for our FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer).
Maybe I should back up and start at the beginning…
We got married May 7, 2011 and haven’t prevented conception since then. In August 2013, we finally decided maybe we should get a full work-up and see if there’s a medical reason we’re not getting pregnant. After said work-up, things seemed to be ok. What we were left with is unexplained female infertility.
After four failed IUIs (Intrauterine Insemination), we decided to proceed with IVF (invitro fertilization). After all, we all only have so many resources, we don’t want to use them all on something that doesn’t appear to be working. Let me tell you, IVF is pretty intense. Despite that, we’ve been handling it quite well. Unfortunately, towards the end of my stimulation process, my hormone levels shot up much too high for a fresh embryo transfer. Instead, we had to do a “freeze all” and wait for symptoms to subside and my body to calm down to a more normal state.
I am learning patience.
Yesterday though, and even more so this morning, what I feel is love, peace, and God’s presence with me.
Lets get back to that schedule. As I was plugging all of the different treatments and medications required for this therapy into my calendar (and there are many…that’s the only way to sort it all out), I realized my injections begin March 6th, the day after Ash Wednesday, the start of LENT. I paused, but continued plugging away until I noticed something else…though the Embryo Transfer will be on April 7th, treatment continues until the pregnancy test on April 18th, Good Friday.
I’ll admit, my first thought was, Oh no…is this a sign of death, gloom, and sadness? Is this not going to work?
Then I felt an answer in my heart. It said: NO. It is for you to remember I walk with you. Christ died to give you LIFE. Yes, LIFE. God, your father, traveled with his precious son, and he is traveling with you. He is always there, always aware, but sometimes can’t be seen in the darkness or make his presence known. Darkness is required so that we may see light and life and look forward to the celebration of Easter.
Coincidence? I don’t think so. Two week wait? Ha, who cares about the two week wait when I’m taking a Lenten journey with my God, with Jesus, that will lead me to Easter. This is my Lent.