We had a beautiful celebratory Father’s Day weekend. A first, for us! Saturday we had a “Welcome Home” party in lieu of a shower for our little miracle, our gift from God. We are overwhelmed by the love and support people continue to give us as well as their presence at these events. We are so blessed.
Another mommy calming the wee one!
Enjoying the festivities…as long as he’s constantly fed! It truly amazes me how much this guy eats! His favorite is still Mommy’s milk! By the way, breastfeeders to be…I love these bottles! They’re great for transitioning back and forth from bottle to boob or boob to bottle!
Preparing for his baptism…
Come to me, come. Let the little children come. Come and receive the kingdom of God.
May all of you find the blessings and promises of God as I have this first Father’s Day weekend.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” ~Jeremiah 29: 11-13
Do you like surprises? I generally like surprises, specially if they bring automatic joy. Sometimes surprises bring uncertainty and shock. That’s kind of what my Saturday was like.
I got an email on Thursday afternoon that there would be an URGENT Executive Session of the Vestry this Saturday. Now, I should preface that this is my third and final year on Vestry, and this has never happened before. There was no other explanation, just a sense of urgency to be at the meeting. I have to tell you, this left me with some anxiety regarding what this meeting would be about.
I would like to tell you about my rector and priest at Church of the Holy Nativity, The Rev. Aimee Eyer-Delevett. Yes, you can click on the link and her bio will appear, but that is not the same as hearing personal stories. The first time I met Rev. Aimee in the Fall of 2007, I was trying sneak in to this little church that kept compelling me to “check it out” after I had moved to the area. I tried to sneak in, but there is really no place to sneak in this church. I did my best and sat in the middle near an elderly couple. As the processional started, I noticed the priest was walking in, in sneakers. Wow, I thought, this is a really casual church. Now after the service, the lady next to me put her arm through mine and asked if I would have a cup of coffee with her. Now remember, I was trying to sneak in and sneak out…but who am I to tell sweet little Harriet, no? Needless to say, I found myself sitting down to a cup of coffee. As I sat people started sitting with me and introducing themselves and next thing I knew Adult Formation was starting. (I can’t just get up and walk out in the middle of a “talk!”….I thought) Well, so I stayed. As I listened to the speaker, I realized she was familiar. So I kept staring and staring until I placed her. I had taken care of her before in the Cardiac ICU. She looked great! She was thriving! Suddenly it dawned on me, connections, God brought me here. I was already connected in so many ways to the body (the people) of this church. Oh, and that strange priest that led the service in her sneakers…she was prepared for Crop Walk Sunday! This was the beginning on my journey with CHN or Church of the Holy Nativity.
Through the years, as you might imagine, I’ve gotten to know Rev. Aimee so much more and on a much deeper level. Not only is she my priest, but she is also my friend. She has listened to my hopes, my fears, my struggles and has been there for the joys. She provided my husband and I marriage counseling before our marriage. She married us. She blessed my womb before my first IVF and embryo transfer (that so many knew nothing about), and anointed me with oil. What is special about Rev. Aimee, is that not only did she listen to my joys, challenges and hurts, but she shared hers as well. Most certainly not all of them, but there is a vulnerability and authenticity that just exudes from her spirit.
Saturday morning, I found out that Rev. Aimee will be taking leave from her position at CHN as rector. October 26th will be her last day with us. She received a call from All Saints by the Sea in Montecito, CA to be their rector and accepted the call. This is the letter that just went out to the parish (CHN). We are so sad, but also know that God is working through Rev. Aimee, and that in our sorrow there is also hope. Hope for us at CHN, but also hope for those at All Saints by the Sea. As I said to Rev. Aimee, “I can only wish for you to grow and share your leadership, love and compassion to those who need you.” Godspeed my dear, dear friend. Know that you will be taking a piece of my heart with you, just as you are leaving a piece of yours.
Well, it’s official. We are miscarrying. I guess you’d call it impending fetal demise. We went to the doctor on Thursday. The fetal pole is smaller. We could see cardiac activity on the ultrasound, but could no longer measure a heartbeat because it was so slow. We have stopped all progesterones (life support for new life), and are waiting for things to progress naturally. I will see my regular OB/GYN on Tuesday and see how things are looking/progressing. Currently, my HCG is 18, 198. We will be watching for this level to decrease as well.
We are heartbroken.
It has been a long journey just to achieve pregnancy, and now this is lost as well. In my mind, I know there are reasons this happens. It is God and nature’s way of protecting us. In my mind, I know the positive is that we now know it is possible for me to achieve pregnancy. In my mind, I know that in the end, all will be well.
But, my heart hurts at the loss.
We ask for your continued prayers for peace.
I am not a poet or a lyricist, but these words have come from my heart in this time and in this space:
As my dear friend prepares for her open heart surgery today, and fear and worry can’t be helped, I wanted to honor her and ask for your prayers that God will be with the surgeons and my faithful friend during this time.
Matthew 18: 19-20
Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.
If you’re not familiar with Baylor University’s Christian Reflection, a series in faith and ethics, I highly recommend it. T. J. introduced it to me when we served on the Christian Formation Committee together at CHN. They publish a new series each month to reflect on. These can be done in any order. This month, for obvious reasons, I pulled out the series on Lent. I want to share a song written by Eric Howell, a pastor from Day Spring Baptist Church in Waco, TX.
This was in my reflection this morning. It comforts me to know that God finds a way to give words of comfort, hope, and peace. A gentle reminder to come to him in our time of need. May God, the healer, guide the hands of the surgeons this day and be with T.J. Give her peace and calm as she awaits her surgery later today. Be with P.G., that she feel the love and presence of God’s spirit, while she awaits word from the surgical team. Be with C.J. Lord, as she tries to make it through classes. Give her a clear mind and assurance that all will be well.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds.
So I’ve been browsing for different prayers, meditations, and guided spiritual practices for my own reflection. What keeps coming back to me is my own soul connected so tightly or closely to music. It is what at times has given me peace, allowed expression of joy and sorrow, and is a bridge for me to meander into different spaces that I might not otherwise be comfortable with or in. I believe it’s my soul’s language and allows me an openness and vulnerability that my own cognative mind won’t open on its own. It’s funny, but as I flipped through the marked pages of my 4th Edition Maranatha! A music book of praise hymns and choruses, I noticed a distinct correlation to where I am and what kind of path I am on in my life. I should tell you these pages have been marked for years, simply because I find joy in them. Today it’s different. It’s like I’ve been preparing for this time all these years, when I sit and play and find peace and comfort in these very simple songs.
As we seek your face,
may we know your heart,
feel your presence,
acceptance,
as we seek your face.
~Dave Bilbrough
Psalm 27:4
Am I seeking? Always.
I cast all my cares upon you,
I lay all of my burdens down at your feet.
And any time I don’t know what to do,
I will cast all my cares upon you.
~Kelly Willard
Psalm 55:22
Have I intentionally left these burdens to God? I’d like to say “yes”. I can certainly say that I make it my intention every day and when I am tempted to fill my mind with fear and worry, I pray. Prayer keeps me grounded. God’s presence when I tell him to help me let it go, grounds me.
You alone are my strength and shield.
To you alone may my spirit yield.
From As The Deer
~Martin Nystrom
Psalm 42:1
I have sung this phrase in many languages and different songs, and no matter what the piece, it always speaks to me. There is someone to be strong for me when I am weak; someone to shield me when I need comfort. This simple phrase, this song of many is always with me.
May God be with you and bless you as you walk your own journeys.
coalescedreverie 