Mother & Child Are Linked At The Cellular Level

For all moms…those who have angel children and those who have living children.  Your children are imprinted in you.  I thought it was beautiful that ALL my children have left blessings in me and each other…

Please enjoy the love and hope of the article below.

Fetal cells persist in mothers, healing them well into old age.

Source: Mother & Child Are Linked At The Cellular Level

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Joy

6.25.2014

On this day at 12:54am in 1975, I was welcomed to the world.  The second daughter of proud parents.  My middle name:

JOY

I like to think my parents gave me the middle name Joy, not because I was such a joy to have, but because my mother wanted me to remember the joy of being Christ’s own.

June 25th has always been a day fraught with conflict for me.  Not only is this my birthday, but the day my baby brother Paul was buried.  Paul wasn’t sick.  He choked on the pit of a fruit at age 2, and they weren’t able to get him the help he needed in a country where EMS did not exist at the time.  No one was able to dislodge the pit from his throat.  I was 6, my other siblings 4 and 8.  In my adulthood, I still miss him.

I’ve recently heard the term “seared dates” from another blog, Ever Upward.  Thanks Justine.  This is one of those dates for me.  A day that at times is filled with joy and celebration, and yet one that my soul can’t help but feel sorrow and loss.  Conflict.  I am thankful for the people in my life that remind me of the joys and help me let go of the sorrows.

My husband and dog child, Freddie, are great at this!  For them, I will be eternally grateful to God.

Psalm 4: 5-8 (NIV)     Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord.  Many are asking “who can show us any good?”  Let the light of your face shine upon us, O Lord.  You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound.  I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.

My comfort is in God.

My peace is in God.

My joy is in God.

Many of you know I recently lost 2 little ones to a miscarriage.  A little boy and a little girl.  I was 9 weeks along.  I can’t help but think of the song I once sang in recital written by my coach, Greg Walter.  One day, I will convert the old VHS to digital format so that you can hear the peace of it.  But for now, I leave you Greg’s lyrics:

Beyond the Blue  –  By:  Greg Walter

Way up there beyond the blue, a great big house, a wondrous view awaits my coming as did you.  By your side he’ll take me to.

And in that house, a room we’ll share.  Of ageless time we’re unaware.  Of years that passed our of your care.  I’m home at last with you for-ere.

And when I die, I’ll come to see your winged arms outstretched to me.  And in them weep so longingly.  No other place I’d rather be.

And when I die, I’ll come to see your winged arms outstretched to me.  No greater love I ever knew,  awaits me there, beyond the blue!

John 5:9-12 (NIV)     As the father has loved me, so have I loved you.  Now remain in my love.  If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father’s commands and remain in his love.  I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.  My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.

JOY Complete.

I hope you feel loved today.

I must give you up to God…

Well, it’s official.  We are miscarrying.  I guess you’d call it impending fetal demise.  We went to the doctor on Thursday.  The fetal pole is smaller.  We could see cardiac activity on the ultrasound, but could no longer measure a heartbeat because it was so slow.  We have stopped all progesterones (life support for new life), and are waiting for things to progress naturally.  I will see my regular OB/GYN on Tuesday and see how things are looking/progressing.  Currently, my HCG is 18, 198.  We will be watching for this level to decrease as well.

We are heartbroken.

It has been a long journey just to achieve pregnancy, and now this is lost as well.  In my mind, I know there are reasons this happens.  It is God and nature’s way of protecting us.  In my mind, I know the positive is that we now know it is possible for me to achieve pregnancy.  In my mind, I know that in the end, all will be well.

But, my heart hurts at the loss.

We ask for your continued prayers for peace.

I am not a poet or a lyricist, but these words have come from my heart in this time and in this space:

Rock Me, Rock Me

Holy Spirit, God Divine

Come and hold this hand of mine.

Rock me, rock me in your peace,

Until my soul can find relief.

 

Holy Spirit guide and friend,

With a love that never ends.

Rock me, rock me from above,

Until I feel your endless love.

 

Holy Spirit, Father God,

Welcomes children from earth’s sod.

Rock me, rock me in your might,

Until I feel you hold me tight.

 

Holy Spirit’s boundless love

Fill my soul from up above.

Rock me, rock me in your grace,

Until my heart has found it’s faith.