Disappointment

“I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”  Mark 11: 24 (NIV)

Well, we all have disappointment in life.  That is part of living.  I had my egg retrieval on Wednesday morning.  They were only able to retrieve 5 eggs this time.  This is a significant difference from my first round of IVF.  Of the 5, only 3 were mature, and of the 3 only 1 fertilized.  My initial thought and feeling was the waste.  I just went through all of that for nothing?  I only have one embryo that I have to hope makes it to the blast stage? 

My first IVF cycle was in February.  They were able to retrieve 14 eggs, 10 of which were mature, and 9 of which fertilized.  6 embryos made it to the blast stage.  Of the six, we transferred 2 embryos in a frozen embryo cycle in April.  I was able to achieve pregnancy, only to miscarry between 9-10 weeks of pregnancy.  I was pregnant with twins.  We did testing on the miscarriage and found each baby to have trisomy.  What does that mean?  It means I have old eggs, so they produce genetic abnormalities.  The exciting thing is that I make eggs, so it is likely I will have some normal.  At this stage in my life approximately 70% of my eggs are probably not the best.  With that in mind, though I had 4 more frozen embryos, we decided to do another egg retrieval in the hopes of making more embryos and then having genetic testing so that we could try and minimize my risk for miscarriage.  Here we are, not so many more eggs or embryos.  Disappointment.  The one good thing about this cycle is that my hormone levels seemed to have behaved themselves and I have a beautiful looking lining.  I asked my physician prior to the egg retrieval what her thoughts were on possibly doing a fresh transfer, since I had a nice uterine lining, and my hormones were behaving.  She definitely thought it was a possibility since we would have to thaw my frozen embryos to do the PGD testing along with anything fresh that survived.  So now, we wait.  We Pray.  I will hear tomorrow how that single embryo is doing in the lab.  Monday morning, I will go in to have labs and ultrasound to make sure everything still looks ok.  IF we have any normals, I will go in Tuesday for an embryo transfer. 

Please pray for me.  Pray for the hands caring for my frozen babies.  Pray for wisdom in our decision making.  Thank You.

“Again I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” Matthew 18: 19-20

There is nothing to do but leave it in God’s loving hands.  Blessings to all of you.

ApacheBlessing

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